One of Bill Cosby’s most famous stand-up comedy acts was called “Noah.” I used to have it on a record (you remember—those things that go around and around). I am not going to recite the whole monologue here, and if you want to hear it you can find it here: Noah. It is a little long—but funny as all get out.
Noah is busily building the Ark and his neighbor comes over and wants the pile of wood out of his driveway so that he can go to work. Noah is being secretive and won’t tell him what he is building and the neighbor wants to know if Noah can at least give him a hint. Noah says, “You want a hint? I’ll give you a hint—-how long—can you tread water?”
This brings me today’s post about hydraulic jacks. While the connection between Noah and hydraulic jacks may be hard to imagine, I promise there is a connection—-of sorts. You see, hydraulic jacks work on the principle that when you pump them up, oil is pumped into a cylinder under the piston through a one way valve which causes the piston to move up and be “uplifting.” Now—as long as that one way valve does not leak, whatever you lifted will stay lifted. If the valve starts to leak—–things can tumble down or at least get all cattywampus.
A while back, in one of my many crawl space adventures, there were five of these jacks holding up the house so that a new foundation could be poured under one side of the home. It had been this way for several years—-symbolic of someone’s dream gone awry—or at least out of money. These five jacks have been “treading water” pretty well, for a long time—-how much longer is anyone’s guess.
All bets are off when all the beasts of the world—-two of a kind—-both male and female, start to party in the house.
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Charles Buell, Real Estate Inspections in Seattle
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